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Fear is more dangerous to your success than any one thing. How do you explain people stopping short of their goals, constantly putting off important things, even though they have all the potential to excel?
Somewhere down the line we have learned from our disappointments, from criticism, from mistakes, that we shouldn’t try things. We should play it safe and not go for it. Our childhood and upbringing is full of judgments. We are right, wrong, good or bad. It is tough living up to the world’s expectations. We live with disappointment and it affects our confidence.
True confidence is going for it even when you have some fear. Heck, no one knows for sure the outcome of anything. Having complete assurance of what will happen before you act is a very weak strategy. You get the facts, prepare, train, get in the game and play to win. That’s all there is. Don’t over think, over analyze, over fret about the consequences before you do something or you will find yourself locked up. You’ll become unable to actually see what is really going on and be unable to respond as naturally and as best as you can.
Try picking up a pen – go ahead, right now. You can’t. You can’t try . You either pick up the pen or you don’t. When we are fearful, we are trying too hard and making things more difficult. Just do it! We have seen managers who are uncomfortable delegating. Sales people with call reluctance. People at every level terrified when speaking to a group of people. Others very uncomfortable mixing with people they don’t know or people they perceive are above them in status or power. C-level executives unwilling to pull the trigger on very important decisions. It goes on and on. What the heck are they afraid of, looking bad? Making a mistake? What? Most of it is just habitual bad habits. Let me explain.Our thoughts make us what we are. Our mental attitude is the X Factor that determines our fate. Our problem – what are the right thoughts? If we think fear thoughts, we will be fearful. If we think failure, there is a good chance we will fail. Am I saying everyone should have a Polyanna attitude about everything? No, I am saying that I know from 46 years experience that fear can be destroyed and transformations can happen when moments of uneasiness creep in, as they do for most of us. I have seen it hundreds and hundreds of times. When moments of uneasiness creep in we have to get that camera back in focus and see the situation/problem/decision from a factual side. Get the real facts then think about courage and calmness and then, immediately get into action.
We should all be more worried about cleansing our minds from the fear thoughts that hold us back, make us stressful and unhappy, than the fad of using a very expensive body cleansing. Four out of five hospital patients are suffering from conditions brought on in part by emotional strain and stress. It comes down to our opinion of what is happening and that is entirely up to us.
Many years ago I read a book called “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. He says a person can only rise, conquer, achieve, by lifting up their thoughts. What I have seen in our corporate and public projects is when people do the things they are uncomfortable with, over and over again, with supportive coaching, fear is replaced by success and they become more comfortable doing what ever they were afraid of and begin to look forward to doing it again. We go from fear – to fight – to success. “Do the thing you fear to do and the death of fear is certain”, said William James.
Think and act courageous and you will be more courageous. You will open up your life, career and business to so much more happiness and success.
1. If you are more of introvert which about 60% of us are, and prefer to do things on your own, then you are probably more comfortable in your own head and are less influenced by others. Look for ways to be more comfortable connecting with others whether on the phone or face to face, conducting meetings, working within teams and speaking to groups. You won’t change who you are, but you can develop your skills and habits in these areas.
2. If you are externally driven or an extrovert (you need and like to be around others), you may not be as good as you think you are. You need to listen more and talk less, be open to others ideas, and engage people so you can build a team. Extroverts or introverts can learn techniques, take coaching and training to develop these skills. Remember just reading or knowing about something does not necessarily make you good at it. To develop skill and habit it takes practice and application, usually under the guidance of a coach.
3. Start you day – every day – by reminding yourself of your blessings. Focus your thoughts on your courage, on your leadership capabilities, and on your ability to truly create your own life. By doing this the appropriate actions will follow. Laugh if you want, but my advice is to begin each day with a good ol’ fashion pep-talk. Your opinion of yourself is what really counts.
Have a great week!
As always, if you have specific questions e-mail me and I will respond quickly.
This traditional Irish Gaelic greeting means “A hundred thousand welcomes.” The Irish appreciate chance meetings, random events, openness to new experiences and opportunities. So it is fitting that it comes from the nicest, fun loving, down to earth people, in one of the most beautiful places on earth. We just returned from a vacation in Ireland. It was like going home for me because it is where my Dad was born. My wife jokingly said that it explained a few things, meaning why I am the way I am. The scenery, the music, history and the fun makes up the Celtic spirit.
Invasions from the Vikings, the Normans, the constant oppression by the English, the famines, uprisings over civil rights and immigrations, makes you wonder how this incredible spirit still lives. But it definitely does. They persisted and became a strong, independent country. Now their economy is whacked again. Their fight for survival has made them who they are. It is what they do best and will continue to do.
In the world of sport we hear the expression “I just left everything out there.” In business we put more conditions on our spirit. Expectations are more logical. For example, you can’t grow a business during a recession. Is it possible that we would be better off in business with a little more spirit and less logic? From watching the Irish, I think so. Their culture lasts and gives them meaning and power, especially in tough times. I saw young and old, strangers, sing timeless songs in pubs. Molly Malone songs still ring in my ear. I’m petty sure that wouldn’t be cool in North America. (except at some sporting events)
If our only mission is to be cool by being a techno-wiz, it says a lot about our values, culture and our need for spirit. When things get tough our only hope is for more technical solutions that we never seem to be able to keep up with. What about focusing on our aspirations, or what we could be; or how we could be changing our customer’s lives; or all the wonderful things our team is about and how we have always persisted despite the challenges; and continually, in a genuine way, telling the marketplace ourselves and our offering.
I would guess that you and most of your team are proud of who you are as a business. What you stand for. Everyone wants to perform at a high level, to be part of a team that is rising to a new level out of sheer persistence and creating opportunities along the way, with people who can muster up the spirit to perform, especially when things look bleak.
As managers, we can’t get bluffed out. The young ones today want fun and family. It’s a priority for them. That’s great, but don’t think they don’t want to succeed, do meaningful work, be challenged and be part of a high performing team. It is up to us to stoke that fire and demonstrate the ‘Celtic like’ spirit to persist and succeed.
1. Remind yourself of the challenges that your team has overcome. Think of the people who helped you do that, who hung in there through thick and thin.
2. Regardless of how the business is doing, tell a few of those stories around the office. Your culture lives in conversation, just like it does for the Irish. When you think of it, that is what good friends do when they get together. They reminisce. Doing this will build your culture and the spirit in your team.
3. Put some things on the line. Take a stand like the Irish did. Set the goals and never give up. That may mean that you have to invent a few new ways to get there or work a little longer, but work won’t kill our spirit…only worry does. The answer for most of our worries is action.
4. Take the time to get better at what you do, your skills and attitudes. Things tend to change and get better when you do.
In summary, I learned that Shamrocks represent the good luck that comes when we are open to possibilities and we persist with what is meaningful to us. The Celtic spirit lives, despite the problems. How about ours? Let’s dig in and make the coming years productive, meaningful and fun.
Have a great week and good luck.
As always, if you have specific questions e-mail me and I will respond quickly. kdcrone@dalecarnegie.ca
Radio Show – Series
This year I will be teaming up with my good friend in Pittsburgh, John Rodgers, to conduct a weekly radio and on-line show on “Waking Up Your Business.” We will address ‘How to implement the six strategies to wake up your business, perk up your career and continually build a successful life.’ All you have to do is join us online for 5 -10 -15 minutes or a full hour. Do it from your Smartphone, IPad or desktop. Here is the link to past shows featuring John Rogers: http://taeradio.com/episodes/archive/3159/the-five-things-you-need-to-know-to-get-the-most-out-of-your-sales-tea/
Our show broadcasts Wednesdays
between 4 – 6 PM Eastern
Check back here Wednesdays at 5 PM for our first interview http://taeradio.com/
The 6 Biggest Challenges In Waking Up Your Business
Look on the right-hand side for a link LIVE or later for archived shows.
You may be asked to install an add-on – it’s safe to do so.
We begin with Challenge # 6
Most organizations are reactive especially in today’s climate and don’t take the time to re-examine or re-think the truth regarding where they are with their business and as a result can’t see where the next opportunities are. Note: Kevin will be on the WebRadio Show Wednesday, August 31st from 5-6PM EST.
This year I will be teaming up with my good friend in Pittsburgh, John Rodgers, to conduct a weekly radio and on-line show on “Waking Up Your Business.”
We will address ‘How to implement the six strategies to wake up your business, perk up your career and continually build a successful life.’ All you have to do is join us online for 5 -10 -15 minutes or for a full hour. Do it from your Smartphone, IPad or desktop. Here is the link to past shows featuring John Rogers.
Our show broadcasts Wednesdays between 4 – 6 PM Eastern
Check back here Wednesdays at 5 PM for our first interview http://taeradio.com/
The 6 Biggest Challenges In Waking Up Your Business
Look on the right-hand side for a link LIVE or later for archived shows.
You may be asked to install an add-on – it’s safe to do so.
Challenge # 4
Most organizations are reactive especially in today’s climate and don’t take the time to re-examine or re-think the truth regarding where they are with their business and as a result can’t see where the next opportunities are. http://taeradio.com/episodes/archive/3233/crossing-the-digital-divide.-how-peter-derycz-turns-those-hard-copy-fi/
Have you ever experienced leaders being secretive about their intentions and actions, and then you hear their people saying they are not clear about the direction of the business? No surprise is it?
Or you see leaders not taking the time to work on alignment – what, why, who, when, where – to get the results they want and yet, after meetings poke holes at how things are or how the other leader is wrong about their assumptions. Then you see a strategies, goals and plans not being implemented fast enough don’t you? No surprise, is it?
Years ago I learned from doing my Executive and Leadership Team coaching, that generally people spoke from their own perspective and not from the organization’s, but they really didn’t realize it. How they are, their thinking, orientation and the way they act comes from seeing themselves as the center of everything. Very few see themselves as the organization and ultimately, their views and actions are not congruent with what the organization wants or what is required for it to grow and succeed.
It was very sensitive work, pointing out the real design of a leader. It could be accomplished and once it was, leaders saw what needed to be done, get into action, and be even more aligned and committed around a desired state for the business. Sometimes I would request that the leader actually say out loud, “I am ______________” (the name of the organization). There were some honest, direct people who would never say it. Most would realize how important that declaration was to the business and to the team responsible for moving it forward.
MMM Insight
As long as we disassociate from truly being part of a team, intentionally or not, we will be prone to be secretive, manipulative and not seeking alignment. Miscommunication and poor relationships prevail. Taking on the commitment to what the business is about, where it is going and what actions are required is sometimes very illusive for individuals who are working to make a buck, living for the weekends, their vacations and a little recognition now and then.
Principles:
1. Always tell others your commitments to where the business is going and where you are coming from, especially at the beginning of every meeting.
2. Listen for the commitments of others and point them out to the group. Alignment is possible when people hear common commitments.
3. From your commitment as being the organization and its future, be open, clear and transparent about everything. Clarity rules for leaders.
4. When disagreements or misalignments occur, get at resolving them quickly. First seek in the conversation your common commitments to what the organization needs and then ask what is required and what each of you need to do.
ACTIONS -Ffirst ponder
1. Do secrets or lack of clarity exist with your team?
2. Are their differences that are blocking actions, momentum and ultimately performance because personal styles and orientations get in the way?
Now, plan your next meeting using these techniques and ACT!
Try taking four teenage girls, a seven year old boy, and a sexually aroused dog in an eighteen foot fishing boat for a night of pickerel fishing on the beautiful, lower French River. Within minutes of ‘worming up’ (lots of yucks from the girls), the first incident happened. Charlotte completely lost her rigging through a snag which had taken me twenty minutes to untangle from the night before. While rushing to her aid I did not notice how the wind had turned the boat and the motor drove over Shalaynes line and her entire rigging was gone. All this within minutes. The snags were followed by Liam and Amanda getting their lines crossed and so tangled that they were done like the extra crunchy chicken Papa had cooked a couple of hours earlier. When it is almost dark, it is tough trying to unsnarl lines and hooks when the normally cute dog (Bentley) is trying to make out with your leg. Eventually Taylor bagged a decent sized Northern Pike. She loves to fight them but hates their big teeth so when we brought the net up she handed (threw) her pole to me and ran to the back of the boat. Somehow the wriggling demon jumped out of the net and began to make it to the front where five kids were doing psycho-screaming. I managed to basket the pike with the net and threw it overboard. Almost all at once the laughter took over followed by everyone saying ‘cool’. I just sat down, took a deep breath and let out a hearty howl. We eventually did catch some fish for the next day’s dinner but the journey was certainly unpredictable, a little weird and funny.
We business people like to say things like “an hour of good planning is worth a week of good execution”, or “If you can’t measure it you can’t manage it.” We are so hard-wired for being cautious and making the right decisions, as if we can control everything. Then you take your wonderful grand kids fishing and feel humbled and a bit ridiculous. It reminds us again that life and business should be experienced and not over-thought. We all have the capacity to make each day an adventure, whether it be serving customers, building people, or doing whatever it takes to advance our business towards what it is capable of becoming. You never know where your next breakthrough is coming from or your next belly laugh. Wouldn’t it be great if we could end each day with …”cool”?
Let’s release a little tension this week and start by:
1. Laughing at the goofy things that happened last week.
2. Set a few simple goals for the week.
3. Get ready to bounce and weave with the tangled lines, snags and toothy pikes of business and remind ourselves that regardless of what happens, we usually wind up catching the “fish” or successes of business.
Just do the things you know you should do and go with what happens. Stay thirsty my friends.
Have a great week!
As always, if you have specific questions e-mail me and I will respond quickly. kdcrone@dalecarnegie.ca
Radio Show – Series
This year I will be teaming up with my good friend in Pittsburgh, John Rodgers, to conduct a weekly radio and on-line show on “Waking Up Your Business.” We will address ‘How to implement the six strategies to wake up your business, perk up your career and continually build a successful life.’ All you have to do is join us online for 5 -10 -15 minutes or a full hour. Do it from your Smartphone, IPad or desktop. Here is the link to past shows featuring John Rogers: http://taeradio.com/episodes/archive/3159/the-five-things-you-need-to-know-to-get-the-most-out-of-your-sales-tea/
Our show broadcasts Wednesdays
between 4 – 6 PM Eastern
Check back here Wednesdays at 5 PM for our first interview http://taeradio.com/
The 6 Biggest Challenges In Waking Up Your Business
Look on the right-hand side for a link LIVE or later for archived shows.
You may be asked to install an add-on – it’s safe to do so.
We begin with Challenge # 6
Most organizations are reactive especially in today’s climate and don’t take the time to re-examine or re-think the truth regarding where they are with their business and as a result can’t see where the next opportunities are. Note: Kevin will be on the WebRadio Show Wednesday, August 31st from 5-6PM EST.
