Today I read Jack Layton’s letter he wrote to Canadians two days before his death. He was Canada’s opposition party leader and a charismatic, nice guy. He loved Canada and his family and you really knew it. Part of the letter said “Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let’s be loving, hopeful and optimistic and we’ll change the world.” He inspired me and I realized that he was very lucky to get out his feelings to those he loved before he died of cancer. Too often people don’t take the opportunity to tell those they care about how much they mean to them, and they don’t feel complete.
This summer I attended an Irish Caleigh. Serene music playing behind a sliding display of beautiful pictures of Ireland. Then a terrific singer bellowed out a tune about how people and family meant everything. Wow, did I get sentimental and right in that moment I went through a mental list of everyone who has meant something to my life. It was very weird but amazing how quickly that list came up. Grand kids, family, friends, associates who helped grow the business, employees, neighbors, yes…even my dog Bentley! After reading Jack’s Layton’s letter, I realized that there was nothing stopping me from telling everyone on that list one-on-one, in a letter, e-mail, whatever. So what I am going to do is every Friday take a little time to write and send a letter to someone on that list. I know, I know….some member of the male, business, conservative, maybe old country species is gagging right now. This act would not be normal behavior for us. Maybe, that’s the very reason I should do it. Too few people know or hear what they mean to others, even in families. We can create the life and relationships we want and it is up to us to do so. For example, what Taylor, my first grandchild thinks of herself and how she is doing in life means a lot to me. I can tell her and it may mean a lot to her. I know the fact that I did it will mean a lot to me! In business, how often do we take the opportunity to tell those who build the business what they mean to the firm and give a little recognition, appreciation or encouragement? I am not talking about only those we bribed to perform with contests and the like. I mean everyone who contributed. We never know how much it means. Oh no, that would mess up our performance management system where numbers and today’s results are everything. Or would it?? It may be exactly what is missing. Everyone needs to know they are contributing. As leaders we help build meaning in others lives by actions and words. Don’t forget the ‘words’ part.
As a Dale Carnegie coach I am continually drilled over and over on giving participants person-centered feedback. All our coaches have to give relevant, succinct, positive comments that build on the strengths we observe. Believe me, it isn’t that easy. We are rigged to see what is wrong, or what we don’t like. After 45 years, I can attest to its power. People change and grow easier and better when they build on strengths and in an environment of acceptance than they ever will if they are getting criticized all the time. They become more open for direct feedback and are willing to be stretched. Heck even great dog trainers have come to learn this. Whether you are good at giving feedback or not, why not join me in building one person every Friday. It may take 2 minutes or 30 minutes. Just be yourself at your best and tell/send feedback to those you care about. Start with family and go from there. State what you feel and why you say it. I don’t know about you but I don’t feel like I am the best at dealing with people all the time. Let’s get better at the best principle there is. Most importantly, you will feel complete like Jack Layton must have felt. God Bless You Jack. Canada will miss you.
Have a great week!
As always, if you have specific questions e-mail me and I will respond quickly. kdcrone@dalecarnegie.ca
Radio Show – Series
This year I will be teaming up with my good friend in Pittsburgh, John Rodgers, to conduct a weekly radio and on-line show on “Waking Up Your Business.” We will address ‘How to implement the six strategies to wake up your business, perk up your career and continually build a successful life.’ All you have to do is join us online for 5 -10 -15 minutes or a full hour. Do it from your Smartphone, IPad or desktop. Here is the link to past shows featuring John Rogers
Our show broadcasts Wednesdays between 4 – 6 PM Eastern
Check back here Wednesdays at 5 PM for our first interview
The 6 Biggest Challenges In Waking Up Your Business. Look on the right-hand side for a link LIVE or later for archived shows. You may be asked to install an add-on – it’s safe to do so.
We begin with Challenge # 6
Most organizations are reactive especially in today’s climate and don’t take the time to re-examine or re-think the truth regarding where they are with their business and as a result can’t see where the next opportunities are.
Note: Kevin will be on the WebRadio Show Wednesday, August 31st from 5-6PM EST.
 As a youngster, when my mother or father asked my brother and me, “who did this?” we’d answer, “nobody.” At our house, Mr. Nobody caused plenty of trouble.
In business conversations with owners, executives, managers, and employees, I track how many times Mr. Nobody is at fault. Owners or executives tell us, “I know we need to improve around here and we’re all for it. The problem is [department x].”
We then speak with people in that area and they say, “We totally support any effort to change, but the real problem is [department y].” We then visit that department and hear, “The real problem is management.”
Now we’re back to management, who tells us the real problem is people who aren’t engaged, don’t align with the business strategy, and aren’t willing to take ownership or responsibility. My parents would say that’s Mr. Nobody at work. Read more from Dave
While recalling some meetings I have attended over the last few months, I realized (again) that the toughest thing in the world seems to be communication. The answer to most problems is…. Yes…. communications and how we do it. Here are some practical and useful leadership reminders.
Just as it is easier to shave after you have lathered your face, it is easier to listen to unpleasant things (truth or not) after we have heard some praise of our good points. Always begin a conversation in which you need to implement change with people, in a friendly way. It won’t hurt us to be diplomatic and point out something you like, admire, respect, possibly the commitment behind peoples actions, before you suggest change. The hammer and dynamite method generally arouses resentment, defensiveness and of course, compliance but, does not usually gain commitment which is what we are looking to accomplish.Â
Always begin with praise and honest appreciation.
As much as possible, if you need to criticize, call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly. For example, “That e-mail would be a great technical paper”, instead of “Your communication skills suck. For goodness sake, why don’t you talk like a human?” Most people would think about what you said because of the way you said it.Â
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Individuals who have effective people skills are classy and, others listen to them.
If you are pointing out mistakes to a person who doesn’t know what you know, talk about your own mistakes first. How about, “You have made a mistake but it is no worse than many I have made. Experience takes care of a lot of judgment which you will get better at as you succeed in this business.” If we add up our own mistakes and faults before we criticize others, then we would realize that none of us is perfect. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
If you want others to move on things differently, begin by giving them an opportunity to do things on their own first, by saying things such as, “You might consider this”, “Do you think that would work?”, “What do you think of this?”, “Maybe if we were to phrase it this way it would work better.”  Get better at letting others learn from their mistakes and it makes it easier for a person to correct the error. This technique saves a persons pride and gives them a feeling of importance. It makes them want to co-operate instead of rebel. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. No one likes to take orders, demands, or to feel manipulated.Â
These are some of the 30 principles that our organization has been coaching leaders to use for almost 100 years. All of us have issues with different personalities. We are all different. Some of us lack experience or come from a different orientation. We don’t see what others see, yet as business leaders we need to get things done without causing offense or arousing resentment with an engaged, committed team. We do need directness in our arsenal as well, but you know how ineffective that is for the most part in dealing with human nature. Remember, you can be right but not necessarily effective.
I will talk to you more about these and other powerful techniques in the future.   These fundamentals can help us get things done and lead us to success.  Information and inspiration without some kind of structure isn’t as successful.Â
Applying these fundamentals isn’t as difficult as dealing with the people problems we create by not applying them. If you want to cause change without conflict:
1. Begin with praise and appreciation. (in a friendly way)
2. Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing others.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Which principle fits a situation you have to deal with this week?
6. Remind yourself of the principle before the meeting.
Use it. It may work …really work.
Have a great week!
As always, if you have specific questions e-mail me and I will respond quickly. kdcrone@dalecarnegie.ca
When customers procrastinate their purchase decisions, even after you have successfully resolved all objections, use a Value Summary to restate the value of your solution, create a sense of urgency, and overcome delayed decisions. Read More
Some of the best company builders I’ve witnessed have the ability to, naturally, slip into a dissociative state when analyzing their business. I call these founders “dissociative architects” because they have a knack for pulling themselves out of their business and looking down on it objectively, as if it were a great big science fair project. When things go wrong, dissociative architects don’t get emotional; they simply tinker with their business model.
The other style of company-building is what I call a “sleeves-rolled-up” leader.” These are leaders who react to situations with emotion. When something goes wrong, they triage the problem and seek to smooth things over with the force of their personality. Read More
One of the most common questions I get comes from business owners who sell their expertise for a living.
These lawyers, Web designers, public relations consultants and plumbers often make a decent living, but usually the business consists of just them and maybe one or two helpers.
They struggle to grow because clients insist on dealing with the expert – understandably.  To scale up a knowledge-based business, you have to figure out how to impart your knowledge to employees so they can deliver the goods. But it can be difficult to condense years of school and on-the-job learning into a few weeks of employee training. The more specialized your knowledge, the harder it is to hand off work to juniors. Read more
  Buyer objections are not always rational. Objections are often totally emotional. You must respond to customers’ emotional needs and to the obstacles preventing them from buying, if you want to build long-term relationships. Download booklet
  In Network Your Way to Success (2002), marketing director John Timperley offers a development plan for connecting us with our peers and, most importantly, creating “rapport” from those connections.
“Put simply,” says Timperley, “if you have the ability to generate rapport with others, you’ll be happy and successful; if you don’t, you won’t. Without rapport in your networking you’ll just be going through the motions.” Read More
We all know we should eat more vegetables and exercise more. Buy low and sell high on the stock market. Don’t lend money to people who are high risks. Eliminate or contain debt. Work on our relationships and improve our skills. BUT….. we can’t bring ourselves to do it. I guess we live in our dreams or intentions.  Entire governments can bring themselves to do what they need to do.
Lax government oversights and easy money in the U.S. caused bank failures, rescue bailouts and the downgrading of credit which now equals an alarming stock market. We wind up in a crisis, reactive mindset, become cautious and worried. This mindset can become a habit.
Buying stocks that are dipping like Suncor, Potash Corp. Sun Life, Canadian Banks, offshore opportunities and LTF’s, while balancing portfolios is what successful investors do. Bull markets are usually full of bull…..but do we buy or sell???
While the U.S. tries to get its house in order, and it should, and the Europeans start containing its debt, we can work on being healthy, having a great family life, and enjoying our beautiful country. These are all things we can feel good about. They can bring present and long term rewards.
With our investments, we should focus on building our net worth. The best way is to build a business or buy into a business. Another way is to buy great dividend stocks that have dipped.  Short of that, we can reduce our personal and business debt. In business we can get serious about ways to access our marketplace with a more meaningful, valuable offering to our prospects and customers. We can be more proactive and aggressive in finding customers with a compelling story that resonates with them. And of course, it is critical to keep customers happy and engaged. Conversely you could constantly be in a reactive, crisis mindset, grabbing money from clients anyway you can. Showing up at the office, cowering down, trying not to be noticed.
We have been through the meltdown and fear of 2008. Let’s not go there again. Let’s bring ourselves to do the right things, follow the fundamentals of health, family, fun, contained debt, and buy low and sell high. In business, we can access the marketplace proactively with a meaningful offering and compelling story, and we can keep customers engaged and happy. OH, one last thing….we can remind ourselves that we are competent and stock market fears will not stop us from improving. By doing these things we can have a great life. Each person can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven. It is up to us to do the things we should and be the person we want to be. We are up for it!
This week, set one goal for each area (health, family, fun, investments, accessing the market, self improvement, and keeping customers happy).
This year I will be teaming up with my good friend in Pittsburgh, John Rodgers, to conduct a weekly radio and on-line show on “Waking Up Your Business.” We will address ‘How to implement the six strategies to wake up your business, perk up your career and continually build a successful life. All you have to do is join us online for 5 -10 -15 minutes or a full hour. Do it from your Smartphone, IPad or desktop.
Oh yeah, we have to bring ourselves to do it. (Ideas and inspiration lead to doing all the right things.) Come and join us. If not bringing ourselves to do it is the cause of world-wide and personal chaos, then let us work on that now!
Have a great week!
As always, if you have specific questions e-mail me and I will respond quickly. kdcrone@dalecarnegie.ca
A warning: In this article we challenge some deeply ingrained, invisible core beliefs.
In social science, a “problem” is often something I don’t like, don’t want, or want to eliminate. In physics, a “problem” is a conflict that prevents a system from achieving its desired objective. Physicists also contend that, if there appears to be a conflict, there is an underlying false assumption.
While management appears to see a different reality than employees, there is only one reality and it is not so complex that others cannot see or understand it. For example, to remain competitive, … Read More
Some of the best company builders I’ve witnessed have the ability to, naturally, slip into a dissociative state when analyzing their business. I call these founders “dissociative architects” because they have a knack for pulling themselves out of their business and looking down on it objectively, as if it were a great big science fair project. When things go wrong, dissociative architects don’t get emotional; they simply tinker with their business model.
  Buyer objections are not always rational. Objections are often totally emotional. You must respond to customers’ emotional needs and to the obstacles preventing them from buying, if you want to build long-term relationships. 
  In Network Your Way to Success (2002), marketing director John Timperley offers a development plan for connecting us with our peers and, most importantly, creating “rapport” from those connections.
In social science, a “problem” is often something I don’t like, don’t want, or want to eliminate. In physics, a “problem” is a conflict that prevents a system from achieving its desired objective. Physicists also contend that, if there appears to be a conflict, there is an underlying false assumption.